Friday, January 4, 2013

Friendship IS hard!

I'm working on a piece about so-called "nice guys" and online dating, spurred on by this Jezebel post. But something came up that feels more pressing.

A former classmate - pseudonym "BrassyLibrarian" -  is celebrating her blog's second birthday today. I genuinely enjoy her blog. I enjoy seeing the world through her eyes for a few minutes. And she makes me think. 

Anyway, in Brassy's post today, she noted that in the two years that she's been writing she has learned a number of things, including "How to keep amazing friends close, and cut the ones who weren't there." She then went on to say that she hasn't quite mastered - among other things - how to make scrambled eggs.

My response, aside from congratulations, was that eggs are easy and friendship is hard. BrassyLibrarian asserted in response that friendship isn't hard.

Really? Let's compare.

How to scramble eggs

  1. Crack open eggs into a mixing bowl. Add a small amount of water or milk - a tablespoon at most. Season to taste. (Salt and pepper at bare minimum.)
  2. Using a whisk, beat the eggs well. Keep the bowl tilted and use a circular motion with the whisk so that you are beating air into the eggs. (You should see bubbles forming.)
  3. Pour beaten eggs into a hot, greased pan, and immediately begin moving the eggs around in the pan with a turner. 
  4. Add shredded cheese while the eggs are still a little runny (if desired). 
  5. Flip to make sure they're thoroughly cooked.
  6. Plate, season / garnish (paprika is a nice touch for color) and serve immediately.
How to make friends
  1. Find someone interesting to communicate with - shared interests are preferable.
  2. Overcome the crippling anxiety and fear that grabs your heart and shoves all the air out of your lungs.
  3. Attempt to communicate. 
  4. In all likelihood, your potential friend will make it abundantly clear that they find you annoying.
  5. Excuse yourself, then flee.
  6. Resign yourself to life as a hermit.
On second thought, maybe friendship isn't that hard, after all.

OK, I hear what you're saying. "It's not that bad." Yes, it absolutely is that bad. And it gets worse. 

For example:
  • What is a friend, anyway? 
  • How is a friend different from an acquaintance? 
  • How familiar do you need to be? 
  • How much contact do you need to have? 
  • What do friends actually do
  • Do you need money to have friends?
  • If you need help, how do you ask without being annoying or insensitive? 
  • How do you cultivate and maintain friendships when everyone is busy with their own lives and their own problems?

No comments:

Post a Comment